Thursday, February 4, 2010

An ode to Olli Jokinen/Sex Panther/Pumkin Head/Olli Postagain

On deadline day one year ago
Your arrival in Calgary caused quite the show
A number one centre, he's here at last!
But your effort was rumoured to be half-assed

"He's a cancer!" they said, "he's not worth the trouble"
And for Lombo, Prust, and a 1st-rounder? You paid double!
Then you scored twice in Philly, and all was well
But soon, everything went to hell

Bourque went down, and Gio soon after
Then Glencross, Reggie, and Lanks--what a disaster!
At the worst possible time, your failed to score
And your deficiencies we could no longer ignore

We made it to the playoffs, fifth in the West
Against Chicago, a very tough test
You scored twice, five points in six games
One of the best players for the Flames

As summer wore on, there were some changes
Coaches fired, and player exchanges
Cammalleri was gone, and in came J-Bo
Both are making lots of dough

As the season began, you got off to a slow start
And the deal began to look less smart
Playing with Iggy, you two lacked a spark
With you on his line, it was a shot in the dark

We tried every line combo, nothing seemed to work
And it was driving Brent Sutter bezerk
The losses mounted and frustration grew
And we began to get pretty blue

We all thought you'd be gone in the summer
But on a Monday night, along came a stunner
You were dealt to New York with Brandon Prust
For Higgins and Kotalik--what a bust!

"It makes no sense!" we said in a panic
We began to wonder if Darryl was manic
In Calgary you wanted to finish your career
Too bad you had to leave to a jeer

So farewell Olli, I can't say you'll be missed
Without our first rounder, we're all pretty pissed
Good luck in New York, I hope you do well
On your absence, we shall not dwell

In April you might need a caddy
And apparently your wife hates Puck Daddy

So long, Sex Panther.

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